i’d just like to formally apologize for like… [gestures to all of myself]

me: *catches myself being judgmental*
me to me: i did not raise u this way

if you woke up last night and there was a tapir peering through your window and now you’ve been seeing him behind you all day, what would you do? asking for a friend

yes i live on the third floor but i don’t see how that has anything to do with the tapir outside my window

TAPIRS PEEING THROUGH THE WINDOWS!! TAPIRS PEEING THROUGH THE DOORS AND HOLE!!! OHhhhh it’s too much to bear folks. Don’t know how they could Pee that much but it’s maybe you should give them some drinks… Dehydration lol

I misread the post.

basically, i think the general rule of thumb is: if someone REALLY wants the blood that’s inside of your body, and they’re like… a vampire, or a dracula, or some sort of mansquito, then that’s probably okay. a dracula and a mansquito are made for removing things like blood and swords from inside your body. that’s basically fine.

if something wants to get at your blood, and they’re, say, some kind of murdersaurus, or maybe a really big frog, that’s where the problems start to arise. a really frog is not made for removing blood, and your blood knows this, which is why it is so vehement about wanting to stay IN your body instead of coming out. 

unfortunately this will not deter a really big frog, because a really big frog is full of things like prizes, and value, and quite a lot of hatred, and it would REALLY rather like to replace any and all of those things with your blood, and basically by any means possible.

These words scan with a fantastic degree of confidence considering that together they make no sense at all