Reblog if you actually give a shit about anyone who’s suicidal or depressed.

 No one should scroll past this

the universe: okay, you’re a human. I gave you free will and a conscious mind, so you’re free to do whatever you want. So what do you wanna do?

human: GO FAST

the universe: well, you’re a perfect pursuit predator but if that’s the way you want to evolve, go ahead.

human, climbing on a horse: GO FAST

the universe: wait what

human, inventing the carriage, the car and the bullet train: GO FASTER

the universe: I IMPLORE YOU TO STOP

human, trying to figure out lightspeed travel: FAS T ER

human: 

THEORETICALLY MAXIMUM FAST

the universe:

hahah okay what a great cliffhanger ahhah wheres… part …2 ha…..!!

I’ve come to inform you all the Ancient Greeks spelled Thoth, the Egyptian deity, as Θώθ

hey, thanks! now die

Thoth was the god of knowledge. So it wouldn’t be inappropriate to ask, “ Θώθ , what’s this?”

mmmmm don’t like this post

you know what movie pisses me off? 27 dresses with katherine heigl like……this bitch has 27 friends that all want her to be their bridesmaid and shes SAD cause she cant get a man????? BITCH i would KILL a man if i could have 27 friends that love me that much. id kill 27 men

if I had to pin point my biggest flaw, it would probably be me

Memes are going to be the dad jokes of the next generation.

hey remember when rick forgot percy and annabeth’s first kiss

I used to love the idea of being a mermaid but now I realize the ocean is terrifying and the only way I’d be a mermaid is if I have a private lake with gentle fish friends

Become the scary and mysterious thing in the ocean

I’m already the scary and mysterious thing in my family I can’t handle the responsibility of also being the scary and mysterious thing in the ocean